nooo don’t feel bad about rambling! i’m always down to chat, whether it’s about fic or whatever! :)
look, i’m not gonna lie and tell you that writing is easy. writing is one of the fucking hardest things to do. it’s putting into words feelings and emotions. it’s literally concretizing something abstract, describing something that you’re not supposed to be able to describe. it’s hard. so the fact that you even tried is commendable.
and let me tell you that every single fic author has had that same feeling, the “why am i doing this”, “why am i spending so much time on this”, “this idea is so fucking dumb and shitty no one will like it”, “i’m wasting so much time.” believe me. i cannot even begin to tell you the number of times i went “fuck it, i’m going to abandon my fic and never write again.” it’s disappointing. it takes so much time and effort, discipline and motivation, especially for since we’re doing all this for free. even now, i’m not motivated to finish my own fic at all.
but the thing is. i know it sounds cliche, but no matter how many fics are already out there, no one else will be able to write your story. The way you feel things is yours and yours alone, and the way you’ll put all these experiences into words is going to be so, so different from the way your favorite author will write it. stories are special–why do you think there are still so many fiction books even though literally everything under the sun has been written about? there will always be something new, something different; your story will always have your own personal twist.
i think, what you need right now, is someone to tell you not to give up. so i’m telling you, don’t give up. there will be a million stories out there on the internet, yes, but there will never be yours. the story you told. the story you hold close to your heart. the story with your feelings and experiences in it. your own personal touch.
if you had a good idea for something, there must be a reason why you had that idea. you must’ve seen something in it that’ll work. which is why i believe you should pursue that idea. and don’t worry if you feel after three pages your fic is dumb/stupid–it’s a mental thing. i promise. you know how when you look at a word for so long you become convinced it’s not a word anymore, even though it clearly is? i’m pretty sure it’s the same with the fic. you get so engrossed in it that minor things become glaring to you, but they’re miniscule in the grand scheme of things. i suggest leaving your fic alone for a while. letting it “ferment” (that’s what i call it haha). like wine, it will age, and you’ll forget about it and when you look it over, you’ll be looking over it with a fresh eye. and you’ll be able to see the things you should work on and the things that don’t matter.
and if you think your story is shitty, then go back and read through it, again and again and again. keep writing. practice. i know people like my fics, but i didn’t just sit down in front of the computer one random day and typed out a whole fic and got 1000 kudos on it. i’ve been writing since i was 12. i’m pretty sure the first fic i wrote was absolutely horrible, but there were people who commented and pointed out what they liked about it, and it motivated me to write more and practice some more. i’ve written and abandoned a lot over the last few years, but the thing is, i never stopped writing. so, i’m telling you. don’t stop writing.
if you need anyone to talk to/discuss fic with, i’m always here! ❤️ having someone else look over it always helps loads.
good luck anon, and i love you. thank you for writing.