starlene:

The Norwegian production of Les Mis is a pretty wild ride

Maybe you’ve already read that one list about things that happen in this production, but having seen the production for ourselves now, me and @obiskus decided to write our own. Here comes:

- When the curtain rises, the first thing you see is a couple of guards dragging some dead guy away.

- Javert punches Valjean in the gut after “do not forget my name.”

- Foreman is oddly sympathetic towards Fantine. It is only after he sees Msr. Madeleine coldly walking away from the scene he decides to throw her out.

- Fantine changes into her prostitute costume in the middle of I Dreamed a Dream (even though they still have Lovely Ladies after IDaD).

- Jean “Superman” Valjean lifts a big pile of sawn timber off Fauchelevent like it weighs nothing.

- Javert very gently helps Valjean to put his coat back on and wipes some dust off his top hat.

- Jean Valjean reveals his true identity in the court by taking off his wig. It was me all along!

- Javert brings three soldiers with him to Confrontation. The hospital nuns (wearing KKK-style hood-like white hats) don’t care about the angry men yelling next to the beds and continue wrapping Fantine’s body in a sheet. JVJ takes Javert by the throat, threatens to kill him and somehow escapes.

- Marius follows Cosette around from one poor person to next. They end up wiping the same poor person’s face.

- Montparnasse has the most ragged clothing out of all the Patron-Minette. What’s up with that?

- Javert and Gavroche have a moment! They have moved Gavroche’s little bit about Javert before Stars, he sings it to Javert directly, then they salute each other.

- The poor people of Paris hang around onstage during Stars. Javert buys a candle from one of them and lights it.

- Éponine is there in the ABC Café.

- When Gavroche tells them Lamarque is dead, Grantaire loses all hope instanteniously. He takes out his flask and starts drinking. Enjolras sings one of his following verses directly to Grantaire.

- Marius tries to shake hands with Cosette in the beginning of A Heart Full of Love.

- In the beginning of One Day More, Marius writes the letter to Cosette and Éponine changes into her barricade costume…

- …but you don’t really pay attention to that once Enjolras walks onstage, because he is joined by Grantaire and sings his whole verse to R. Then, I kid you not, Enjolras teaches Grantaire how to shoot a gun - in a way that wouldn’t feel out of place in a fanfic or a romantic comedy. You know, standing very close, taking his hands and correcting the way he holds the gun…

- …and this goes on for the whole duration of the song. Enjolras doesn’t give a hoot about Marius deciding to fight with them; he’s busy staring into Grantaire’s eyes. I kid you not.

- Prouvaire has a pet plant that he takes with him to the barricade. He builds a sort of a little nest for himself and the plant on the barricade.

- Not everything is perfect at the barricade, though: Enjolras and Grantaire have a fight in the beginning of the first act! During On My Own, there’s this odd freeze-frame tableu in the background with lots of characters - there, they stand very close to each other and Enjolras has his hand on Grantaire’s shoulder, clearly trying to make amends.

- They drop Éponine’s body in the sewer.

- Enjolras is pretty Extra about the whole Éponine situation: he sings about her blood blessing the barricade.

- When they catch Javert, they tie him to the front side of the barricade. Valjean doesn’t use a knife when he frees him, he uses a bayonet.

- During Drink With Me, Enjolras and Grantaire sit next to each other and Grantaire holds Gavroche in his arms. R sings his verse to Gavroche, Enjolras reacts a bit, no one else bats an eyelid. Then Enjolras takes Grantaire’s hands, kisses them (and it’s no platonic kiss, let me tell you that) and leaves.

- When they meet in the sewers, Javert straight up decks Valjean.

- When Valjean leaves, Javert finds a huge crucifix, sorta hugs it, sings most of the song to it and drags it around. Then he jumps from the bridge.

- Nuns (in their KKK hats) sing Turning.

- In Empty Chairs at Empty Tables, there are no chairs and no tables. Instead, there are hospital beds. At first, all Les Amis grouch behind them, then they stand up and stare at Marius for the whole song without moving an inch. Then they walk away.

- After Valjean’s confession, Valjean stays downstage for ages, sorta grouching, while Marius walks upstage towards complete darkness, like he is walking to his death or something.

- During the wedding, Cosette recognises the Thénardiers. And is that Javert in the ensemble, dancing there, with his ponytail and his sideburns? We think it is!

- Javert is in the Finale. So are Enjolras and Grantaire. Grantaire rushes downstage to Enjolras to stand right next to him, his hand on Enjolras’s shoulder. I kid you not.