i totally get you about speaking chinese, it's the same for me with french. i feel like you can lose a language soo quickly if you don't put genuine effort into it, try to use it as much as possible and have fun speaking it. its just so frustrating to realize how much of your knowledge in that language is actually gone :(

i know!! but it’s also this cycle of ‘it’s so tiring to put genuine effort in it/i’m not good enough in speaking, they might just laugh at me and my efforts/i might make no sense’ and then you wake up one day and realize that you’ve forgotten a whole bunch of things and it’s just such a waste