Sometimes I purposely have headphones in with no actual music to stop people from trying to talk to me. Enraging.
I had to stop reading. this made my brain hurt. if she has head phones leave her alone. if she is me leave me alone always and forever
This is rape culture
Lol unless you’re telling her the bus is here, it’s the last stop on a train, or some pertinent information, leave the damn woman and her headphones the fuck alone.
Fixed it.
Thank you I was about to throw my phone at a wall
Okay but… can someone tell me why this is so bad? I mean, all the article told you (as a guy) to do is walk up to a girl with headphones on, motion for her to take them off, and pay her a nice and non-creepy compliment. It then tells you to tell her you have somewhere to go soon, so that the girl in question doesn’t feel crowded or like she’s in a conversation she can’t get out of.
This seems perfectly fine to me… is there some subtext I’m missing or something??
Women get approached in public a lot.Usually this is unwanted. One of the things women now do to combat this is to make themselves unapproachable, and one of the best ways to do that is to have on headphones. Lots of women wear headphones even if they aren’t listening to music, just to avoid unwanted advances from men they don’t feel like talking to.
This article is basically saying, “how to get around the physical barrier women have put up so they don’t have to talk to you.” It’s the equivalent of “Oh, she built a moat? well here’s how to build a bridge!”
It’s assumptive, it’s entitled, and it furthers the idea that men deserve to talk to women no matter what the woman herself actually wants. It’s giving men tools to try to knock down barriers women have put up deliberately to avoid having to interact with them. It’s creepy as fuck, it’s rude, and it’s furthering rape culture–ie the idea that men have a right to a woman’s time, body, etc.
There are times and places women may wish to be approached. But if they have in headphones, it’s a damn good bet this isn’t one of them, so concocting strategies to approach them anyway is ignoring their wishes in favor of the man’s, and that’s not okay.
“women love to test guys to see how confident they really are and a favorite test of women is to ignore a guy’s attempts to converse with her and see what he will do next; will he walk away in shame or will he insist on a confident, easy-going manner?”
Y’all think that’s what we’re doing? We are not pretending to ignore you to size you up, we are ignoring you cause we DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. What you see as a “confident, easy-going manner” we see as an entitled and slightly creepy attitude. There are many places a man can go to find a woman who wants to talk to him. A place like the bus, train, or a cafe when the woman is wearing headphones is NOT one of them.
This article is infuriating. The kind of person who is going to follow this advice isn’t the kind of person who can respect personal space. Not the kind of person I want to give my time to, or the kind of person any woman/AFAB owes time to.
i’m dying. it says to wave your hand to try and get her attention, like boy, we know you’re there,l. we saw you walk up. you’re being ignored on purpose. a woman just sitting there minding her business wants to be left alone!! you trying to be a “””good alpha male””” and confidently hit on me while im trying to live my life is gonna give you a smooth ‘fuck off’, not my number
